Coffee Lubricant

Whenever folks rub against each other some sort of lubricant seems to help things along, an' nothin' lubricates like a good cup of coffee.  Coffee takes the chill out of old bones, it warms the heart, an' it even loosens the tongue a mite - not too much like some other drinks I could mention.

I can't say I ever tasted coffee  that was really bad, but goodness knows there's all kinds, from the thick black quinine stuff they serve in places like New Orleans to the muddy brew that comes from the grimy pot of my bachelor friend Ivar Olson who used the same coffee grounds for a whole week.  Restaurant coffee is a good deal better now than it uster be on account of they got scientific coffee machines.

But I reckon the best coffee a man can drink is what his wife pours him at breakfast, or in the middle of the afternoon when you feel like you need a little extry something to see you thru the day.  There's a lot of talk about different brands of coffee, but my favorite is Wifebrand.  It seems to carry a little extry something to warm an' sustain you.

Paul C. Johnson (1947-1970)
"John Turnipseed's Almanac"
Prairie Farmer Magazine