Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Maisy and Me

Mary Cassatt
"Maisy snuggled her newborn cheek against mine. Soft eyelashes fluttered as she was lulled into sleep by  tender voices. Tiny fingers wrapped around my thumb as if that was all she needed to securely ground her soul in peace. She squeezed my thumb tighter, pulsing in time with the rhythmic slurp of fist sucking.  Sure of my love, she slept in complete trust, no worries to mar her contentment."

Months have passed since I wrote that paragraph in my journal. Maisy still snuggles her cheek against mine. Soft eyelashes still flutter as she is lulled into sleep by tender voices. Tiny fingers wrap around my thumb...and then a little head pops up, eyes widen with disappointment and her head shakes off sleep. Strong little legs begin to bounce and eager-to-play-not-snuggle arms push me away to reach for my husband.

Usually I walk by faith not sight. I am lulled into peace by singing and moments of stillness in the presence of my heavenly Father. Complete trust softens my heart, no worries mar my contentment. I rest knowing I am loved. My soul is securely grounded in peace.

Then disappointment comes and I push Father away. I escape into play, avoiding His presence. Do I leave the loving Father to search out a better option? Is my way really the best way?

Like a child who has put off rest for too long, I discover my energy is spent, nothing else satisfies. I grumble, complain, succumb to tears of frustration and crash. Then I hear Him singing over me, quieting me with His love, wooing me back to His presence where He faithfully waits to give me exactly what I need.

But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child I am content. ~Psalm 131:2

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