Saturday, August 28, 2010

Coffee at the King's Throne

Daddy called coffee the king’s fluid. He would sit in his special chair, cheerfully referred to as the king’s throne and drink a cup of coffee while he rested. I don't remember the first time the aroma of coffee reminded me of him. It simply has always been that way. I always knew that once I learned to like the taste of coffee I would be grown up. I know, odd compass, right? But it's truth.

This morning I was sitting in my special chair having a delicious cup of hazelnut coffee and cinnamon toast, a perfect sunrise moment to wonder: When did I become a grown-up? Early in my adulthood I chose to become the older woman God needs to teach younger simple, difficult, wonderful dream. I have spent my life so far with that purpose and focus.

I hit a new spiritual plateau this summer and I'm spending some time this weekend in retreat to evaluate goals and plans. I have time to pray as long as I want, to praise, to read and study and prepare for my ministries. I've decided I rather like this stage of life. I have the time to go about doing good like Jesus did. Rather than going from house to house with a specialty in busybody, rather than a hobby focusing on self and fleeting delights of happiness, I want to spend this time living my dream of loving spiritual daughters and fulfilling my calling.

Americans think that if you believe enough and work hard you'll achieve your dream. It will merit a Starbucks life and contentment. My dream crept in on cat paws, gentle as a sunrise. I was walking along by faith not sight, stumbling sometimes, climbing sometimes, falling sometimes, and one day I looked around and there I was living my dream.

Sitting in my living room among the antiques and quilts that I have inherited from generations of women who had a strong faith, I am contented. I know where I came from and I know where I'm going. A lantern glows with warmth and welcome, reminding me that I am a light in a dark world. I'm living my dream and it matters. It matters very much.

There are always things we would change if we could have a lifetime "do over", but God’s grace covers regrets. I love living my dream and I am amazed that God really did have a plan for my welfare and not my calamity, a plan for living in me and walking with me up the mountains and through the valleys. My life is an adventure, an amazing journey...not my story, but God's story about me.

Daddy is aging. We drink coffee together when we can. We talk about my spiritual daughters and his spiritual daughters, about Father and about what we know, what we don't know. Time slips by like fog through a key hole. All too soon I will have moved a row closer to heaven and he will join the great crowd of witnesses at the King's throne.

I don't know what the King's fluid will be at the great banquet when God and man at table are sat down, maybe it will be coffee. What I do know is that until I reach the King's Throne I'm going to continue sitting in my special chair with a delicious cup of hazelnut coffee and cinnamon toast, enjoying perfect sunrise moments of wonder.

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