Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Digging in the Dirt

I grappled with the decision for nearly a year before ending a friendship. I knew it wasn’t in my own best interest to continue, but because I had failed to preach the gospel where Christ was not known, I hesitated to give up all chances to try and reach my friend.

His soil was rocky, hard and filled with spiritual diseases. I wanted to tend the soil and prepare the ground for seeds, but the good I did was far outweighed by my inability to stand strong and alert in his presence. If only I had known a better way to get through to him.

"Watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people. Everyone has heard about your obedience so I am full of joy over you; but I want you to be wise about what is good, and innocent about what is evil. The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you." ~Romans 16:17-21

Even though the harvest is not mine to control, it was my job to plant seeds and nurture them in the life of my friend. Instead I was swayed by my insecurities and lack of experience, tempted by his smooth talk and confused by obstacles and divisions.

I wanted to be light, to be salt, to be a lamb that roars, to be music in his life. I wanted to make his mountains less steep and his valleys less dark, but I just couldn't figure out how to do it. Is there a burden heavier than failing a lost friend?

Oh, Father, I want to be a woman after Your own heart. I want to be bubbling over with joy and love the people that come my way. Season my life with salt and fill my words with grace. Give me a pure heart and clean hands so that I am strong enough to tug the lost from out of the pit and back onto solid ground without getting so much mud all over myself.

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